Tech Support Response Letter

The following is a reall email a co-worker almost sent to a rather non-helpful vendor!

Use it at your own discretion.



Dear Mr. Whatever-the-hell-your-bloody-last-name-is-you-pompus-arrogant-bastard: (replace with real name)

Thank you for very much taking time in responding to my technical support question regarding the java applet “Viewone” not functioning on arbitrary platforms. As much as I appreciate you taking time to investigate my situation, I do not appreciate the manner in which you responded. I found the tone of your responses pompous, accusatory and extremely unprofessional. I also want to point out that the support you have provided as yet been a proven solution to the issue.

I want to remind you that my corporation has paid $1,800 US Dollars for a valid license which includes technical support. Our company pays for technical support so as not to waste time troubleshooting anomalies and to come to a timely solution being left to the hands of a knowledgeable professional. Requiring this support I have supplied to you as much information that was available so as not waste both our times. You as a technical support professional are expected to analyze the information and determine the relevance of the given data. You stated that the information was “rubbish” and made the accusation that the data was “Made up.” It is not my position to know whether the information at hand is pertinent or not - that is your job. Also, since you believe that the information provided was indeed fabricated; I want you to explain to me why you believe it is so. I neither have the time or the place to be sending you disinformation on a production problem that I am earnestly trying to solve because of your company’s errant software.

Again my company has paid $1,800 dollars for technical support and I expect to get our money’s worth. I am also firmly requesting the contact information of your manager. I want your manager to assign me a new technical support engineer who will professionally accommodate me and bring this technical issue to a timely resolution.

Cheers,

MasterPo

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