MasterPo says: This blog is about topics and issues that are of importance to me. I am not one of the countless blogging lemmings that are tripping over each other scurrying down the hill and off the cliff of blogging oblivion trying to write the greatest blog on the latest topic de'jour. Your comments are welcome.

August 12, 2009

When Reconnecting is a Sticky Situation.

I suppose it's inevitable in life, especially as one grows older, to ask yourself the question: "What ever happened to ?"

Someone you knew in school, work, or perhaps an old girl/boyfriend.

It is to the latter this article addresses.

Particularly if the other person broke up with you it's probably normal to eventually wonder what became of them. I think it has as much to do with general curiosity as it does with wondering if their choice to leave you work out better or worse for their life.

There no doubt is an element of ego involved. No one wants to find out their ex-girl or boyfriend met someone soooo much better looking, richer, more exciting etc. and has lived a fabulous life without you! As impolite as it may seem, I think at some level you hope they ended up in much worse situation without you!

So with that in mind, I had set out to see if I could find a couple of old ex-girlfriends.

One girlfriend from college I did find. She looked like an older version of how I remembered her from school. If you liked her then you would like her now. And if not, the same. There's more I can say about her but I'll save that for another article. Suffice to say, I'm doing much better without her than would have with!

Another was a more difficult to find.

I ended up finding her on Facebook.

When I first contacted her she said she didn't remember me. Not sure if I should be insulted or not! Then I reminded her of some of the things we did, places we went while dating. Now she remembered.

Here's where it gets sticky.

For one thing, we had a great sex life. We only dated couple of months but almost from the beginning (second date I think it was) the hormones were flowing and we weren't going to stop them. (Yes, my wife knows about her so if she reads this article it will be no surprise. Besides, she knows she married a stud!) I would like to think we had much more than just a sexual relationship (no booty calls) but since she isn't here with me now I guess it wasn't enough.

So it gets a bit sticky (no pun intended) talking to an ex-girlfriend when the main things you remember about her were the places you went and the great sexual exploits you had there. We messaged back and forth for a bit with small talk about what we did after breaking up, getting married, kids, travel, etc.

I don't at all regret having lost her. Otherwise I wouldn't have met and married Mrs. MasterPo, wouldn't have 2 crazy cats and an insane dog, and definitely wouldn't have had my beautiful daughter. I have nothing to regret about, especially since I do believe (and I'm not saying this as sour grapes) she was probably cheating on me while we were dating.

I found out that a little less than a year after we broke up she had gotten married. Not unusual per se just the speed at which it happened was surprising. I know people can meet, engage and marry very quickly but as the line from Alanis Morissette goes "It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced". And I think she knows it too. The tone of her message seemed a bit nervous and apprehensive.

Based on further information she had a child almost immediately after marriage. For all I know she may have met this guy, had sex with him too and got pregnant all while still seeing me. I can't prove any of it but the timing is odd.

Nevertheless, what does it really matter? The past is water under the bridge and knowing details now won't change the out come of life. Some mysteries are probably better left unknown and just taken as they happened. At least I got to see a recent picture of her. Not bad looking. But definitely lost much of the youthful features I remember. Yea it's superficial but what the heck.

When you reach out to reconnect you gotta expect some residue to stick.

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